Long-Time-No-Type
Greetings from beyond!
Hello, I am your new friend and counselor! Now, let us play a fun little game to help us learn each ah-thers names!
But seriously, it's been a while, I know. These days though, I have little to blog about. I do nothing, I see no one, and I have yet to get a job. I've found plenty, and applied at over 40 of them. I don't know what else to do. I've gone and applied at places like burger King (I worked there in the past) without so much as a titter from them. It's a little depressing.
Okay, it's ALOT depressing.
Apart from that, I have begun moving forward where my education is concerned. I have applied to CSU Fresno and George Fox University. I have not heard whether or not I am accepted yet, but I only applied about a week ago. If the GFU thing works out, I will probably go there and live with Brad. CSUF is sorta like a backup at this point. I am really sick of Visalia now, so moving away from here is appealing at the moment.
I think often these days, about stuff. The other day, I realized that this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life. Isn't it? This feeling that never goes away, a mixture of inadequacy, despair, and mediocrity. It's an understanding that has settled over me during the past few years, that I am not destined for something great. How can I be? Those who are destined to be great do not take 6 years to obtain a 2 year degree from a community college while earning lackluster grades, for example. That childhood dream we are all indoctrinated with about us being special is a farce, and I think that is what I have come to realize. I no longer have dreams of the future. I no longer aspire to be anything. Daydreams about having a decent house and a running car and a steady job have gone out the window.
I have no idea what the future holds, why set myself up for failure?
Hello, I am your new friend and counselor! Now, let us play a fun little game to help us learn each ah-thers names!
But seriously, it's been a while, I know. These days though, I have little to blog about. I do nothing, I see no one, and I have yet to get a job. I've found plenty, and applied at over 40 of them. I don't know what else to do. I've gone and applied at places like burger King (I worked there in the past) without so much as a titter from them. It's a little depressing.
Okay, it's ALOT depressing.
Apart from that, I have begun moving forward where my education is concerned. I have applied to CSU Fresno and George Fox University. I have not heard whether or not I am accepted yet, but I only applied about a week ago. If the GFU thing works out, I will probably go there and live with Brad. CSUF is sorta like a backup at this point. I am really sick of Visalia now, so moving away from here is appealing at the moment.
I think often these days, about stuff. The other day, I realized that this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life. Isn't it? This feeling that never goes away, a mixture of inadequacy, despair, and mediocrity. It's an understanding that has settled over me during the past few years, that I am not destined for something great. How can I be? Those who are destined to be great do not take 6 years to obtain a 2 year degree from a community college while earning lackluster grades, for example. That childhood dream we are all indoctrinated with about us being special is a farce, and I think that is what I have come to realize. I no longer have dreams of the future. I no longer aspire to be anything. Daydreams about having a decent house and a running car and a steady job have gone out the window.
I have no idea what the future holds, why set myself up for failure?
posted by Whatafreak at 12:04:00 AM
1 Comments:
Our dreams will make it. You'll see. Confidence or hope about the future isn't necessary, it will happen.
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