Just Can't Get Enough Idaho

Looks like Idaho is in my destiny.

I got a call from Brad the other day. Certainly not out of the ordinary, we talk on the phone from time to time. His dad was looking for another driver (corn, manure if needed). I have driven for him before, it was a good experience. I prefer jobs where I only have to work and not interact with other people. Driving trucks is good for me.

I accepted.

I am flying out there on Tuesday. Not really a whole lot of preperation time, but I will manage. I will probably be there for 4 weeks or longer, it just depends on what happens. If it is worth it for me to stay, then I will.

So, I sit here now, strung out on Hot Tamales and super-strong Tang, contemplating the future. I want to go to school for sound production/design, but that can't happen until I pay off my debts. This work will be good for me, especially speaking financially, but it is only short-term. What happens after? I am sure that I will be able to find some work somewhere, especially if it is just before the holiday season. Retail places hire like crazy during that time for seasonal work.

I think I am slowly realizing something. Everything that I have ever done, every place that I have ever been, every thing that I own (which isn't much, haha!) has either been practically handed to me, or just happened to fall into my hands when I opened them up. I rely on other people too much. If I want something, I am going to have to go for it and do it myself. Something in me has changed since I accepted the truck driving job, I have been thinking about it practically constantly since I said "yes". When I get back to California, the job hunt is on. I am now more determined than ever to make this sound production/design thing happen. I am the only one that can make it happen, I cannot rely on someone else to get me there. The only way that happens is if I pay off all my debts. That cannot happen unless I get a job immediately after moving back.

I think this is partly why I want to go to school for sound production/design so bad. I want to go for something that I know I love and just freakin' go for it, "balls to the wall" as they say. I have never done that before. I want to be involved with movies. To be honest, I always have, but I had tunnel vision about it and always thought acting was the only way I was going to be able to do that. I really can't act that well. Only recently have I begun to realize how I would be perfectly happy to just be on a set somewhere recording sound, though I would love to be able to design sound effects or edit sound primarily.

All this talk about sound is making me anxious for something that probably won't ever happen. On to less boring (for you) topics.

Brian Regan was cool. The sulphur Coke (don't ask) wasn't. About half of his act was totally new stuff that I had never heard before, which was very nice. Everthing that I have ever seen with him performing is exactly how he acted. His movements make every joke of his even better. Afterwards, he came back out for an encore of sorts. Someone screamed out "spelling bee!", so he did it (I bought 2 boxen of doughnuts...), going through the science fair bit as well. Overall, a good experience. I was mentally drained afterwards, however, by the massive internal struggle that I experienced during the show. Pretty much the same way I felt when I went to see Mike Birbiglia perform. My mind says "stay seated and enjoy the comedy", but my body is saying, "FREAKIN' A! GET UP AND MOVE AROUND! YOU NEED TO STAND UP!". It's not fun, let me tell you. I do my best to appease both voices, squirming in my seat when I can't stand sitting still any longer. That's some serious relief, though, when you (meaning "I") finally get to stand up after the performance ends.

You all must think I am seriously mentally retarded now, after that last part...

It is now 4:30 am. I need to put Futurama on and go to bed. Later alls.